Story Time: Forgiving A Cheater!

WHAT'S UP EVERYBODY!! So a couple of weeks ago I did a post about how I handled being cheated on. This time someone asked me how do they forgive a cheater? How long did it take for me to fully forgive him? Well in this post I guess its story time!!

So I been going out with this dude for 6 years and we're still going strong. We might be happy now, but trust me it wasn't easy. I don't think any relationship is easy. Anyways, he cheated on me 5 times. At least the that's the one I know about. The first one I count because his intention to cheat was there, but he didn't do anything physically. Well he couldn't because she was in another state. He had an online relationship with another girl. He told her things that he loved her, but couldn't be with her because he had a baby on the way. I caught on to it when he was hiding his phone and I couldn't log on MY PS3. He was just hiding shit. I through his phone to the wall and it broke. Right there I lost ALL my trust. I was young and stupid and didn't want my kids to see a "broken" family. Now that I'm older and much more mature I realize that even though we stayed together we were still a broken family because we or should I say I wasn't happy. After about a year and half of him being faithful and I finally decided to TRY and trust him then BAM! He finds another job and cheats on me with the girl that was working with him. He didn't know that I knew, but I found out because I'm that crazy ass girlfriend who hacked his phone or figured out his password and kept breaking in his phone and looked at all his text messages. He was telling her things like "just give me about 2 weeks and I'm gonna leave her." Well little did he know I was late on my period. I waited that 2 weeks and I took my pregnancy at the clinic. The lady told me "congratulations miss you're having a little baby!" Obviously I was happy, but frustrated at the same time. That day I dropped him off to work and I showed him the results and the proof of pregnancy. He was acting like he was happy, but I could see he wasn't. I realized at that time that even if I was pregnant he would still cheat on me. I was right. A week after finding out I was pregnant he left me and my daughter. After he left us for about 3 months he came back in our lives, but he was talking to another girl who told me "bitch imma take your family. I'm gonna make your kids call me mom!" Well that didn't last long like maybe a week. By this time I was so prone to him cheating on me that it bothered me, but not really. The 4th time he started talking to his ex...the girl he left us for. She called his phone and I answered while he was sleeping. I told her to stop calling because we were trying to work shit out. She said "sorry I didn't know. He told me that we were gonna work things out with me and we was supposed to try the whole long distant thing." Luckily, she respected what I said and she never contacted him again. He was pissed when I did that. I looked at him and laughed because he thought I wouldn't have found out. He left us again and moved back to our hometown for about 6 months, the whole time we had this long distant relationship. I never trusted him the whole time. I would talk with his family and they told that he wasn't doing anything. I obviously didn't trust it because I was thinking that they would say whatever they want him to say, but it was just my insecurity getting to me. He came back a couple months before I gave birth with our second child. He stayed faithful for about 2 years. He got a new job and BOOM another girl from his job. I immediately packed my things and took my kids and stayed with my mother. After about 4 months of staying with my mom he stopped talking to her because he missed his kids, but he didn't even come over to see them. But he could take the bus to go see her. He spent more time with us for about 3 months and yes you guessed it we ended up back together. He's been faithful since.

I know! "OMFG YOU'RE STUPID FOR STAYING WITH HIM" "YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED WITH YOUR MOM AND WORK ON YOURSELF" Don't judge me. I know I thought about it every single day since. It took me the last 4 years to fully trust him. I trust him enough to go out without me. I trust him enough to go out of state with his brother. My kids? They can't imagine a life without them. I just want my kids to be happy. So to answer the question it will take a very long time to earn trust again, especially when you been burned so many times. If you can't handle it or don't have the patience then don't put yourself in that position. Until then, BYE FOR NOW MY NAUGHTY ANGELS!